We’re happy to announce that We Are Now Accepting Bitcoin For Payment, the sign read. We also accept Ethereum and Dogecoin and ADA and Shibu. In fact, we accept every coin that has ever been minted. US coins from the days before the first war, Canadian coins from before and after they declared their independence, which wasn’t very long ago, but it was before they trampled people in the streets for holding signs. Ancient coins, modern coins, bronze and silver and digital, we accept them all. We also take pixelated images of moneys, or apes, and GIFs, screenshot or otherwise, it’s your choice. We accept all art, modern or renaissance, crayon on lined 8.5 x 11”, it doesn’t matter. We’ll take baseball cards, basketball cards, football cards and we take those New Kids On The Block cards. Condition isn’t important, which is something that sets us apart from our competitors. You’ll find someone who will accept your Bitcoin to buy a house, but I’ll bet you can’t find someone who will take the combination of seven BTC, 38 ETH, 100 LTC, 119,333,901 SHIB and 3.5 ADA. No one has the financial sophistication that we do. If you’re interested in taking us up on this offer, the steps are incredibly simple. You’re so close to owning your vacation home, and we couldn’t be more excited! First, please find a house you like. The house can be large or small, expensive or cheap, and it could even be a condominium if you prefer. Once you find the house, please identify your preferred method of payment. Remember, it doesn’t matter if it’s seven unopened packs of 1986 Fleer, 4 BTC, two pixelated GIFs of a slice of toast popping out of a toaster, two buffalo nickels, one wheat penny, and 7,883,986 SHIB. Once you have your assets, you’ll want to liquidate those and wire the title company the USD. Once the wire clears their bank and the seller signs the paper deed, that’s it! Congratulations, you just bought yourself a vacation home. Your financial sophistication could not be more impressive, and we could not be more proud to be your cutting edge broker.
Summer Homes For City People, shorts.