When times are bad, the bad things stay bad. And why shouldn’t they? If the times are bad, the good things suffer, too. Prices sag, good things come for sale, and the good things are bought. But when times are good, it’s the bad things turn to be made good. The good stuff is too expensive, so the bad things shine. Ugly houses on highways rejoice, the market is hot enough for someone to consider you and your horrible existence. I like this phenomenon, because the bad things need some love, too, and the last few years of market acceleration has put the bad houses in the spotlight. Celebrate your importance, you terrible houses!
But there’s a dark side to this movement, and I’m forced to see it every day at Lake Geneva. First, a bad house looks like it might be sold. The bad things are cleaned up outside, the bad windows are washed, the bad flower beds are weeded. New Impatiens? Must be a sale forthcoming. Then, bam. A sale. The bad house has sold. The neighbors are optimistic for what comes next, and so am I. I drive by over the coming days and weeks and months with excited anticipation. Will the house be torn down? Will it be gutted? Will it be shingled and made fancy? Will it be a spec? God forbid it turns out to be an AirBNB… Along with the rest of the passersby, I wait to see what will unfold next.
Then it happens. The brick that was once cream gets painted white. The windows that were white get replaced with black framed vinyl. The light fixtures, once aged and woefully undersized, are swapped for new ones that are woefully undersized. The roof that was faded and curled black asphalt is replaced with asphalt that is black and new. I didn’t need to see all of these improvements to know what was happening, I just needed to see the first bit to know that the fate of this ugly house was sealed: It’ll be reborn, this time as an uglier, updated house. The neighborhood cringes and I, driving by minding my own business, stew with anger over the missed opportunity.
The problem with this phenomenon that finds replacing blighted houses or corners with more ugliness is that the cycle of improvement is so stubbornly long. A house or building renovated or built in this fashion will now last for a decade, or two, or three or four. Maybe five. My life will be over and the ugly house will have outlasted me. I will have lost, and it will have won. Read this as a warning. If you had bad taste, don’t choose your own finishes. Hire a designer. Have them help you. Have them help us.