Lake Geneva Winterfest 2015

Lake Geneva Winterfest 2015

George Strait didn’t ask politely, so I’m not sure why, if he didn’t, I would. He said run, or drive in a straight line. He said break speed limits, take shortcuts, generally he said do whatever you have to do. To do what? Well to get to wherever he was, of course. And that’s just the point. He had no problem telling people to run, to drop what they were doing, presumably it was something moderately important, and get to where he was. Post haste. If you had heeded his advice, you’d rush to find an old man with a huge hat and piles of money, the sort that comes from writing and signing songs, not just singing them. He figured he was worthy of such a rush, and if him, why not us. It’s Winterfest this weekend. Get here.

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Earlier this winter, when January was new and there was great fear that it would be scary and cold, snowy and bold, I saw a published list of Wisconsin Winter Things. This list included various parades and nonsense, some sledding hills and some small cabins in the middle of dark northern woods. This was the list. I protested, in the way that internet protests go, and leveled this sick burn, “Any wintery list that excludes the Lake Geneva Winterfest cannot be considered a list at all”. I’m sure they spent nights worrying after this mistake, wondering why they failed and how they could make it up to me. But alas, the list didn’t change. No matter, Winterfest is here anyway, and when it’s Lake Geneva, there’s plenty of reason to rush your attendance.

See, small towns of all varieties have all sorts of Winterfest things. Generally, these small towns offer some sort of parade, or maybe they indulge in an old timey snowball fight. They do this because they’ve always done it, and sometime ago the townsmen thought it would be a good idea to advertise this snowball fight so that other people could hurl the snow with them. It would be fun, they said. There would be hot chocolate, others insisted. And there would be decorations in town that would, before hand, proclaim the coming dates of this publicized faux fight. Winterfest, they called it, with a side of snowballs and a cup of warmed chocolate milk. The sort that’s made from water and powder, not chocolate and milk.

Lake Geneva would bother you with no such small thing. We have a Winterfest, and it’s epic. The Snow Sculpting Competition is lovely and it’s serious, and if you walk around I suggest pretending that you don’t know what the carved item is, and then asking the sculptor about it. If the thing is obviously a mermaid, ask what animal it is. If the thing is a giant bird that is obviously a crane, ask if it’s a Robin or a Bluejay. This will give the sculptors some attitude, and if they haven’t already adopted some surl after spending three days in the cold carving a giant block of snow, this will push them over the edge. See that Elephant? Ask what type of dolphin it is.

Aside from the snow sculpting that takes place down on the waterfront near the Riviera, there are other reasons to come to town this weekend, and those reasons are always present. If you haven’t walked around downtown for a while, come up and do it this weekend. The weather looks promisingly un-cold, which will make for a pleasant downtown stroll. Take in the sculptures, be daring and walk a bit on the ice. While the whole lake is not yet properly frozen (it appears so but is, in fact, dangerous), Geneva Bay is pretty solid. Walk on the ice. Go ice skating on the rink. Maybe take a helicopter ride, as they’ll be sure to offer those- taking off from the ice. Check out the ice fishermen in their huts, but knock first. It’s only fair.

This weekend, January 30- February 1, it’s time to come to Lake Geneva. If real estate is on your mind, let me know. Don’t walk around thinking about real estate without telling me, don’t you dare. Normally I’d simply suggest that you consider contacting me, in hopes of avoiding an egregious real estate mistake, but George didn’t suggest, he demanded. So come to the lake. When you’re here, call me to buy a vacation home. And do both of these things very quickly.

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