The business of making pools is, well, pretty big business. A rapidly growing segment of the pool market is in so called “natural” pools. The concept of fixing nature is one that has made great recent gains in the minds and psyches of human beings. If you need proof of that statement, consider only the work that is done to “restore habitat”. We, in our supreme self satisfaction, have taken about tearing out old nature to put new nature in. Drive by Kishwauketo sometime. It’s a great land conservancy, for sure, but take close look at the work being done. The work is mostly visible along Highway 67, where once a wooded jungle pushed nearly all the way to the paved road. Now, there are smaller trees, those planted after the larger ones were cut down because they were too this or too that, but mostly too invasive. We are busy correcting nature by destroying it, so that we might save it.
If it all makes sense, then it should make sense to consider the very concept of a natural swimming pool. Crain’s told me, in an article last week, that these swimming pools are all the rage. They were first introduced in Europe, these pools. Then, after some time, the United States decided that we should, no, we must, have them as well. These pools are rather involved, and rather pricey, but the general gist goes like this: You, being a person of some swimmy esteem, desire a swim. And, being this person that you are, have decided that you mustn’t travel to swim, but you must find that swim immediately outside of your back door. You want to swim, darn it, and swim you must.
But you don’t want to swim in a pool full of chemicals and dyes and the like, because you are interested in preservation, not contamination. The pool you desire must be sterile, but not too sterile. Like a hippie who doesn’t wash his jeans, because that’s passe, but who does shower every now and again because he’s concerned about both his perspective on life and his aroma. You wish this pool to be natural looking, natural feeling, and natural, but not too natural. You want turtles, because they do something good for the water. You want some fish, but not too many fish. You want plants, green ones, spindly ones with big leaves, and curvy ones with small leaves. They’re not leaves, really, so much as they are little branches with green on them. You love those plants, so you’re going to buy some and bring those to the shoreline. There isn’t really a shoreline, per se, but there is a bright line of spray paint that the guy from the natural pool company painted last week, so you’ll set the plants near there.
The pool, it’ll be a hole, filled with water. But it won’t get filled until the pool guys, who might as well be pond guys, come to dig a giant hole in your backyard. I’m not sure what shape this pool/pond will be, but it might be a kidney, or some variation on a circle. It won’t be square, that’s for sure. They’ll dig and then they’ll line your natural pool with some plastic sheeting. This may not be natural, but those rocks you’re going to bury that plastic in sure are! They’re from Montana, where lots of rocks are from. If I were a purist, I’d point out that your rocks are invasive, and are threatening both the health and self esteem of our native rocks, but you’re the hippie purist, not me.
The rocks in, it’s time for water. A big truck will bring it, and it will be fresh water. There will be some PH testing, or so you’re told. It’ll make you feel better, if they dip some paper strips in your new pond/pool and the strips turn color. Don’t worry, they say, they all turn green and purple. It’s blue that you don’t want. The pool is filled with water, the rocks submersed, the green plants with the leaves planted. You’re ready for a swim, but they tell you it isn’t yet time. It can take a year or more for your pool to be properly balanced, so you must wait.
It seems to me that you can do this, or you can realize something very simple. There’s a 5400 acre pool here, in between Lake Geneva, Fontana, and Williams Bay. It’s big, it has rocks and green plants and fish and turtles. It’s also super clean, and deep. You can even boat on it! It’s swimmable as of last weekend, and when it freezes in the winter all the fish stay alive. You can call the pool/pond guys, and pay them a handsome ransom to build you a swimmin’ pond, or you can drive to the lake and see the one that the greatest pool builder in history has already built. PH tested, and everything.