In a particularly important segment of the television show “Seinfeld”, George’s friend Gary Fogel confesses that he has been living a lie. Unbothered by the admission, George responds, “Just one? I’m living like 20.” I bring this to you today in order to admit something rather important: I, too, am living a lie. Fogel was lying about having cancer, but is my admission any less offensive than is? Am I any better than him? Is my lie lesser than? You see, I know there are but two types of people in this world. I have tried to be part of the important group, but I know it’s always been a lie. On one side are the well-mannered elite. The Proper. The High Brow. Those who pronounce interesting as it is spelled. In-Ter-Est-Ing. Each and every time I say the word, I think about the word ahead of time and make sure I hit all of those syllables. I’m pretty good at it, honestly. I’ll enunciate and pretend that I mean it, but I know that deep inside I really don’t. I’m an In-Tresting guy, and I know it, and now you know it. No matter of pretending can overcome what I am deep inside. I’m just a guy who belongs to the group that pronounces interesting as intresting, and that’s who I’ll always be.
