Deadly Lake Michigan

Michigan, Michigan, Michigan… Oh how I’ve tried to stay away from needling you and your easily hurt feelings this summer. Our relationship got off to a tumultuous start last year, what with your very serious reaction to my very satirical commentary. It seems that we’re not only destined to never become friends, we’re downright likely to hate each other for the rest of our lives, which is fine by me, since I live in Lake Geneva and there’s a very good chance that my life will indeed be longer than yours (life expectancy charts don’t lie, Michigan. 77.9 Wisconsin vs. 76.3 Michigan). See, there you go again, getting all blustery and upset and twitchy at any small literary or statistical jab that you’re never quite able to identify until it’s too late. I can’t help it Michigan. I feel like I must take to the internets to decry all your slick advertising and photoshop proficiency.

This issue today, it’s a tricky one. I’d like to poke fun at Michigan in a jeering way that lacks seriousness, but today there is a serious tone to my complaint. (I’m no longer addressing Michigan now, just so you know). You should know that I’m not trying to gloss over any tragic circumstance, as all loss of life is horrific and saddening, rather I’m making sure you’re aware of a danger that I doubt most people know exists. Consider this a PSA of sorts. I’m not sure how to dance around the delicate issue of tragedy, so I’ll let an AP story from a couple years ago explain:

Most summer days, the shoreline of Lake Michigan looks inviting: warm, soft sand. A gentle breeze. Rolling waves. But in an instant, such serenity can turn deadly. That’s what happened on July 4, 2003, when seven people drowned within hours along a three-mile stretch of Berrien County beach.

Chances are that didn’t make the cut for the next Pure Michigan commercial. What caused this unnerving accident? Something that is properly termed “rip current”. Not riptide, or undertow, but rip current. It’s a nasty exodus of shore swept water, and if you’re caught up in it, you just might have an untimely date with the water djinn. From the same AP story:

There were about 30 drownings related to rip currents in Lake Michigan in 2002 and 2003,” says Kinnunen, who has been with Sea Grant for 24 years. “People don’t even have to be swimming. They can be in waist-deep water when a rip current knocks their feet out from under them.

I have no interest in making light of tragic circumstances, but the truth is that these stories do exist, even if they don’t receive much attention or consideration. And lest you think the incident is isolated and taken out of context, consider the appalling and disturbing trend, as evidenced by this snippet from last week courtesy mlive.com:

As Labor Day approaches, rip currents are being blamed for 10 deaths this summer along Michigan’s west coast. Last year, the number was two in the same stretch of shore, with two others drowning near St. Ignace.

Lake Michigan, it seems, is less a relaxing, restful body of water than it is an angry soup of currents and waves and debris. The vigilance required to take a swim in that lake seems overwhelming to me. The thought of my children playing in that water doesn’t scare only me. Consider what Charles Ehrlick, manager of a state park near Grand Haven, has to say on the matter:

Those people who have small children in the water, it’s kind of gut-wrenching sometimes,” he said. “But we have no authority to prevent people from going in the water.

This comment, along with the other quotes culled this morning, confuses me. I thought Michigan was all fun and sun and pixie dust. I thought it was all about playing on grass with your friends and having your heart broken by beauty. I had no idea that the body of water that looks so docile in television ads was capable of not only capsizing boats, but of dragging adults and children away from shore in an unpredictable and deadly rip current. I’m just not sure what sort of vacation people are really enjoying when they visit Lake Michigan. The vigilance required to enjoy such a vacation sounds exhausting to me. While any body of water is dangerous, there are hidden dangers that exist beyond poor swimmers, reckless boaters or honest, horrible mistakes that result in injury or death.

Thankfully, Geneva Lake doesn’t have any time for rip currents. Geneva has no interest in harming the people who gladly frolic in her waters, whether those waters are knee deep or 135 feet deep. Mothers and fathers can sit on a pier or on a beach and watch their children splash in her clear waters without fear of any water djinn coming close to shore and ripping their feet out from under them. Geneva is relaxing, and the only lakeside vigilance necessary involves replenishing the SPF.

If you must tease death and vacation along Lake Michigan, please do be careful. If you’d rather come to a lake where no such tragic circumstances exist, Lake Geneva awaits. Geneva Lake, rip current free since Chief Big Foot speared his first brown trout at the tender age of 6, reason #9,854,882 Lake Geneva is the place for you.