In my chosen profession, it helps that I am ashamed of nothing when it comes to the product I represent. This seems like an obvious characteristic, but imagine if I sold real estate in some other location. I’d think, even if I were from there and had nostalgic reflections painting every blight with warm pastels, I might still bemoan most of Racine. I’d drive clients around, and I’d pray they didn’t see the obsolescence that permeates most every pore of that downtrodden city. If I sold real estate in Michigan, I might be greeted with better scenery, but I’d similarly pray that my clients don’t possess a proficiency in Google searches, and I’d have to hope against hope that they don’t read that Lake Geneva guy’s blog that lays bare the shortcomings of my state. If you’re me, and I’m in Lake Geneva, there are few things that I find embarrassing about the scenery of my region and the quality of my lake. At least I feel that way until I see the new tax service guy dressed like the Statue of Liberty wildly flailing his arms at every passing car.
It’s not that the tax prep guy isn’t a good guy, because he probably is. If he chooses to provide for his family by donning the costume of an inanimate object, who am I to take issue with him personally? But while he doesn’t bother me, the sight of a gimmick so cheesy that Packer fans everywhere have been attempting to wear him on their heads leaves me with tinges of embarrassment when I consider what an innocent passerby might think. If a seasonal tax preparation business is going to come to Lake Geneva to file returns, I have no qualm with the concept. If they want to put out a sign offering quick tax returns right next to the sign that says “now hiring”, and as such lead me to believe that the person who might prepare my return has been hired for all of several minutes, I do not bemoan their unsuccessful approach at luring me in. I do, however, take issue with the location of the business- one that is positioned on the primary thoroughfare that leads one weary Illinoisan into our utopic town.
And it’s not just the tax service and flappy statue guy, it’s the entire entry to the city of Lake Geneva that bothers me. If you’re heading West on 50, and you’ve cleared the quasi-suburban intersection where Walgreens, Walmart, Best Buy and Target converge, you’re about to enter a half mile stretch that should be a treasured gateway to paradise. Instead, the stretch from the now defunct Hillmoor golf course all the way West to the Water and Sanitation building (it’s not what it sounds like- it’s actually a beautiful old brick building) causes me much consternation due to the unkempt and unimproved nature of several buildings that lie in that swath. The golf course that once offered sweeping vistas of green and greener, now offers nothing more than weeds and a faint outline of what used to be a course layout. This is a mess, and with an asking price far exceeding the scope of my reality, this may remain an eyesore for years to come. Across the street from that course is a new hotel, which is fine, and a bowling alley, which is also fine. Next to the bowling alley is a beautiful church, which is fine. But next to that is a stretch of homes that need a special visit from Ty Pennington. And Ty better bring with a bus that is at least a block long. I despise that block. And I wish it to disappear.
Williams Bay has blight of a different kind, but rest assured it is still blight. The gas station on Highway 67 adjacent of Daddy Maxwells has been closed since the fall. I would like to see this gas station closed for eternity. It tends to be dirty, and the location directly across the street from Southwick Creek and the native brown trout population that swims therein further dictates that the removal of this gas station is in the public’s best interest. The village has been looking for additional downtown parking for years, and I would suggest that the village finds a way to purchase this gas station and demolish the building. Tear up the gas tanks, and put a metered parking lot in it’s place. Landscape the boundaries, and just make it pretty. Since the village has proven a proclivity towards accepting a standard that I perceive to be unacceptable, I’m more than willing to give them some advice as to how to proceed.
The other issue in Williams Bay that causes me unnecessary and unwelcome reflux is the perpetual state of graveled disarray that is the sailboat rigging area. Ever since the old gas station that once occupied this site was removed (much like the other station should be), the gravel parking lot in a prime location reeks of neglect. This is a prime location- one that nearly every person passing through Williams Bay will see, and the village has determined that an unsightly patch of gravel is the highest and best use for this property? Let’s get our act together Williams Bay. Let’s landscape a beautiful border around this lot, and let’s pave it. I don’t even care if we have to meter access to the lot in order to help offset the cost of the improvements. If you agree that Williams Bay could use a little help, take a second and email this article to the village for their thoughtful consideration. For those of you who are familiar with Marco Island, in a municipal improvement on that island there is a lesson that Williams Bay can, or should, learn.
For years, there was a narrow patch of land running South and West along Collier just past the Esplanade bridge. This land was a hardscrabble mix of sand and more sand, and it was hideous. It was then what the sailboat rigging area in Williams Bay is now. One winter, when I returned to my January island, I found that this narrow strip of despair had been transformed, if by a miracle, into a brick lined oasis of palm trees and benches. Marco had turned a miserable wasteland into eye candy, and in doing so they proved they understand that a resort destination should do all it possibly can to liberally apply the polish and put on the shine. Williams Bay could do the same, by intervening in the unfortunate state of the gas station on 67, and applying so much lipstick to the sailboat rigging dirt patch that even my 96 year old grandmother would blush at the excessiveness of the application.
Thankfully, I must dig deep to find that which embarrasses me in the Lake Geneva region. You might notice that I had no criticism for Fontana, as they have captured what it is to be a lakeside retreat for the affluent, and they have identified who they want to be and executed that vision with flawless efficiency, even if they did spend too much money doing so. For the village of Williams Bay, the improvements that are practically begging to be undertaken are simple and easily accomplished, if only for a little vision. The Lake Geneva issues are present, but pale in comparison to the magnificence that is the downtown and lakefront of that sparking city. Next time you’re driving through Williams Bay, please direct your gaze to the dirt patch across the street from the lake and envision what that site could become. And if your drive leads you to Lake Geneva and you see that statue of liberty guy, just indulge him and waive back.